March 2022: One True Thing, by Anna Quindlen

 L and I liked this book. Although the subject matter is a bit morose (a woman who finds out she has cancer and is dwindling away), this is, after all, something that happens in real life, and the themes for the book are ones worth further contemplation.

Theme 1: Putting people into "boxes" (categories). Kate is the mom, and it's her that is dealing with cancer. Kate has devoted her life to her home, her community, and her children. Her husband (George) is the intellectual - a college professor - who engages their 3 kids in convo about books, art, history, etc. Meanwhile, Kate makes the perfect food, and organizes the best displays for the community park at Christmastime. Kate's kids (daughter Ellen and 2 sons) see her only as The Homemaker. Ellen becomes her mom's (Kate's) caretaker, and in so doing, she learns things about her mom she's never bothered to "see" before. And this is the theme -- that too often we put people into "categories" or "boxes" and we refuse to see them as multi-dimensional. This can happen with women, ethnic groups, etc. 

Theme 2:  Giving people a say in how they are treated in a life-death situation, such as cancer, or even old age. Our bodies break down. Science has "the answer." But sometimes, the remedy is worse than letting our bodies naturally devolve. No one knows what they would want given a life-death situation. And that's really the point. People should be ASKED what they want. Do you want that chemo? Your answer may be different at 40 versus 60 or 80 years old. 

Overall, this book gave us quite a bit to discuss. Quindlen is a beautiful writer, although, with this book, there were times where she gave too much detail and it felt a bit like "filler" at times. If I had one wish for this book, it would be that Quindlen would have tightened the storyline just a bit. 

Thumbs up for this book. 

P.s. Quote regarding the title is found on page 276 - "We needed her (our mother) to be our one true thing."   My note on this: Mothers are more than one-dimensional. They were once 16 years old. And 21, and 31, and etcetera. You may not want to know what your mom went through at 16 or 22, but be assured, she is more than meets the eye.